Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST)

Month: May 2014

Orgasmic Meditation

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I’ve been looking in to orgasmic meditation and its usefulness in creating deeper connections between partners as well as greater sexual satisfaction. Much like sensate focus activities, what my clients like best about orgasmic meditation is the focus on feeling your own and your partner’s bodies without judgement and without the goal of climax. Although much of the information available is hetero-centric and focuses on female genitals, a trained sex therapist can help broaden the benefits. Ask me for more information and #LetsTalkAboutIt.

Q & A re: Squirting

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Question:
A few weeks ago a friend told me that she is very embarrassed that she squirts when her boyfriend goes down on her. Is there a way she can stop squirting?

Rosara’s Answer:
I would suggest that moreso than looking to stop something her body is doing naturally she consider exploring her feelings about ejaculating during oral sex. If it’s something that is causing her considerable distress, even after exploring and resolving the influence of social pressures/norms, then she can likely learn through sex therapy ways in which to prevent her ejaculations during oral sex. I rarely counsel clients to close off sexual experiences unless they cause unwanted harm to themselves or others. I believe what may be most helpful for this young woman would be to work closely with a therapist on discussing her thoughts and feelings surrounding these experiences, her own reactions, the reactions of her partners, etc. and then coming to her own informed conclusions about whether she would like to stop experiencing her body’s natural reaction to receiving pleasure from oral sex. In the meantime, if she’d like to stop ejaculating and only does so during oral sex, for the time being, she might consider not engaging in oral sex with a partner.