Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST)

Month: May 2018

Parents Have Sex, Too

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Parents having a healthy relationship with their sexuality is an important message to kids of all ages. Boundaries are appropriate, but a kiss, hug, cuddle and the knowledge that parents have sex helps kids develop their own healthy relationship with sexuality.
I definitely advocate getting mom (or partner who is a mom) something sexual and sensual for any holiday!
Tricky part for sex toys is that they’re usually not returnable. We never know what happens to plenty of presents we get people, so that’s not too big of a deal. Maybe mom uses it once. Maybe she regifts it to a friend. Either way, you got her thinking that you care about her as a sexual person, which is likely something she hasn’t felt in association to being a mom.

Some of my

suggested toys?
The tried and true: the magic wand, preferably battery opperated.
The mom who might be missing some penetration: the stronic pulsator

.

The mom who might appreciate something like oral: the womanizer

.

Always add in some lube

!

(None of these are affiliate link).

Other ideas are sensual. Massage, cooking classes, candles, bubble bath, luxurious lotion, mani/pedi, spa treatments, a Spotify subscription or a new album, new sheets, a house cleaner, a beautiful plant or a great smelling bouquet, a big bath towel or a robe, some time by the water (pool, lake, ocean, etc).
For a mom who likes some excitement to get her fire burning, try something thrilling! Go kart racing, a ride along in a sports car, bungie jumping, a ride along in a small plane or helicopter, sky diving.
And to use any or all of this… Especially for young moms… Some extra free time!
As a sex therapist, I don’t think there’s anything taboo about sex. Buying a vibrator is just as reasonable as gifting someone a box of chocolates.
Perhaps a sex toy gift could kickstart a conversation about sexuality, sexual development, stories from when mom was your age, etc. Many people are often left wandering through sexuality without parental guidance. Many forget that parents and grandparents have lifetimes of knowledge and experience that could be useful to younger generations– they were once the new, cool kids who were radicals and listened to weird music!

Sex Toy For Mom?

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Dr. Torrisi is quoted in this Refinery29 article about buying mom a sex toy for mother’s day.

“Many people forget that parents and grandparents have lifetimes of knowledge and experience that could be useful to younger generations — they were once the new, cool kids who were radicals and listened to weird music.”