Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST)

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Veterans and Emergency Services

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If you’re one of those people whose job is to run to danger, please let us know so we can offer you a discount on therapy @LIIST. Image background: silhouetted person standing, holding a decvice that is emitting red smoke.

Nominated Once Again for Best of Long Island

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Dear friends, clients, and associates,

Thank you for nominating me again as the Best Sex Therapist on Long Island!

You can help us win Best Sex Therapist on Long Island by voting once per day, every day, during the 75 day voting period.

Voting started on October 1st and goes through December 15th, 2019. At the end of the voting, the nominee with the most votes will be awarded the distinction of “Best of Long Island 2020.”

To vote for me and The Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy, you can use this link to go directly to the Health and Wellness Category. You can then scroll down to Sex Therapist and then vote for Dr. Rosara Torrisi – The Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy.

Vote here: https://bestof.longislandpress.com/voting/#/gallery/?group=330484

Thank you for your vote!

Tracy’s Dog Toys

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Fun story. A friend showed Dr. T a sex toy review on Amazon and she, of course, requested office samples of the toy! And now we have the wonderful simultaneous clitorial and g-spot toy in the office, along with a few other friends from Tracy’s Dog.

https://amzn.to/30katLa

https://amzn.to/30katLa

Even better! We now have discount codes for our clients to use if they decide to purchase any of these toys from Tracy’s Dog.

https://amzn.to/2JtvNXY

https://amzn.to/2JtvNXY

http://bit.ly/2Pa6mzD

http://bit.ly/2Pa6mzD        

http://bit.ly/2Nv4crN

http://bit.ly/2Nv4crN      

https://amzn.to/2lSXK25

https://amzn.to/2lSXK25    

If you’re a client, just let us know you’d like the discount code list and we’ll be happy to share them with you.

John’s Take-Away Messages From A Sexuality Conference

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LIIST staff therapist, John Mutziger, attended the 2019 AASECT Conference. So we decided to interview him about his experience.  

What is AASECT?

AASECT is a culture of inclusion, empowerment, and compassion.

Having an organization that promotes a sexually happy world certainly lends itself to an environment that is inclusive, empowering, and compassionate! These are also characteristics that John possesses as an excellent therapist—it makes sense that he would gravitate to these aspects of AASECT.

What did you hope to learn at the AASECT conference this year?

Attending an AASECT conference is a wonderful experience. Sexuality professionals have an opportunity to teach others about a topic they are expert in, to learn from other professionals, to meet their idols, and to forge new professional relationships.

I hoped to gain new perspectives from experienced academics and clinical providers as well as learn new skills to help me grow as a counselor.

What were one or two powerful moments during the conference? When was your heart reached, or your mind changed?

My heart was reached as I learned more about bi-erasure (when an individual experiences feelings of invisibility due to their bisexual orientation). Feeling invisible, especially within the queer community, is a heartbreaking experience. It was powerful to learn that people within the largest sexual minority group experience feelings of invisibility. This resonated with me as a counselor because it provides me with an opportunity to validate and empower those who feel unappreciated by their peers, friends, or family.

woman kissing another woman
Photo by Tallie Robinson on Unsplash

My mind was most changed with regard to my perspective of minor-attracted persons. Admittedly, my initial reaction to the subject was negative and my mind began to open as the lecture moved forward. This subject resonated with me as a counselor because this paraphilia is marginalized by the mental health community due to the uncomfortable nature of pedophilia. Sexual health is a human right and access to help without fear of shame or stigma is inherent to that right.

As the director of LIIST does not have any training or expertise in working with minor-attracted indviduals, this is not an issue any of the therapists at LIIST currently work with. If you or someone you know is dealing with minor attractions as an adult, we can refer them to other therapists and organizations who might be able to help.

Who did you see or interact with during the conference that you really admire? Why do you admire them, and/or what knowledge did you gain from them?

I met a surrogate partner therapist while at the conference. I learned how surrogate partner therapy is a collaborative process, with the client, surrogate and sex therapist all working together with a treatment plan. I admired the surrogate partner therapist’s ability to facilitate deep and transformative connections with their clients.

wheelchair signage
Photo by marianne bos on Unsplash

Surrogate partner therapy exists in a legal grey area in NY State. In some places, this profound work is illegal. In some states, like California and Florida, there are professional organizations that have exceptionally high standards for surrogate partner therapists to achieve and maintain. Their work has often been crucial for the effectiveness of sex therapy throughout its relatively short history. Without surrogate partner therapists, sex therapy often fails to be effective, especially for individuals without a sexual partner.

What are one or two nuggets of new information or insight that you will use your practice immediately?

I immediately went back to the office prepared to discuss how sexual satisfaction is more than just feeling good about one’s sexual self, it’s about being sexually energized by connection.

The concept that healing does not mean that the damage never existed stuck with me. Instead of healing negating the damage, healing means that the damage no longer controls one’s life.

How can someone contact you to schedule an appointment?

smiling man, with short hair parted to the side, wearing a button down shirt
John Mutziger – headshot

I am part of an amazing team at The Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy. Thanks to conferences and other growth opportunities, our therapists are some of the best and brightest on the block. If you think I might be able to help you or your relationship, feel free to reach out to us. Our phone number is 516-690-6779, (you can even text us there!) and you can email us at Info@LISexTherapy.com. If you’re curious to about me, you can learn more at www.SexTherapyLongIsland.com/About-John

What Dr. T took from the AASECT conference that will improve her work as a sex therapist

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What is AASECT? What did you hope to learn at the AASECT conference this year?

AASECT is the American Association of Sexuality Counselors and Therapists. It’s an organization dedicated to the advancement of knowledge and best practices for professionals who help people dealing with sexuality-related issues.

Philadelphia skyline
Philadelphia skyline

This year’s conference theme was “Let the Body Rejoice.” As such, I most enjoyed the focus on consensual pleasure. Heading down to Philadelphia, I hoped to learn more about working with difficult issues around polyamory (such as opening up a monogamous relationship or repairing from broken trust) and about managing the secrets we end up holding as therapists.

What were one or two powerful moments during the conference? When was your heart reached, or your mind changed?

I thoroughly enjoyed a presentation by a former student of mine, Carly Goodkin, and her two colleagues, Katy Pacino and Diana Lozoya, about utilizing the Cartoon Network TV show Steven Universe to educate children about gender, sexual orientation, and bodily autonomy. As a sexuality educator, and someone who is often guiding parents through these conversations, I will certainly be using these ideas.

Kate Bornstein presented to almost 800 people about sexuality, gender, and the political act of being. She crystalized a series of thoughts I’ve been considering for some time– there is nothing wrong about believing whatever you need in order to reduce your own human suffering, it is, however, wrong to impose these beliefs on others.

Who did you see or interact with during the conference that you really admire? Why do you admire them, and/or what knowledge did you gain from them?

Quite by accident, I sat next to Samantha Manewitz during lunch. Samantha had just presented about the transformative power of kink, especially with regard to healing from trauma. Samantha is someone I’ve admired for a few years, after hearing her speak at the AltSex Conference in NYC.

I’ve been in the field for many years now, so some of the “big wigs” are my mentors, colleagues, and friends. I enjoyed reuniting with Sabitha Pillai-Friedman, Chris Fariello, Michelle Marsh, Rachel Needle, Ricky Siegel, Leticia Brown, Juan Camarena, Jane Fleishman, and Jayleen Galarza. I also got to fangirl a bit upon meeting Beverly Whipple, Arlene Lev, and Joe Kort.

What are one or two nuggets of new information or insight that you will use your practice immediately?

Martha Kauppi guided a generous conversation about the focus of a relationship therapist as guiding clients through self-regulation and co-regulation by promoting honest speaking up, active listening, and empathic connection. I am excited to rededicate my focus on relationship therapy as a balance between symbiosis and differentiation.

I also developed a new professional crush on Linda Weiner. Her work is prolific and she is a magnificent person! We have used her work explaining and normalizing sex therapy at LIIST for a while so it was a wonderful opportunity to meet her and hear her speak.

Dr. Torrisi Smiling with Dr. Weiner
Dr. Torrisi Smiling with Dr. Weiner

Can you explain more about what that means? What do you mean by symbiosis and differentiation?

Symbiosis is when we do things in a relationship to maintain the status quo, to maintain the relative calm. Differentiation can also be calm, but it often requires moments of relationship upheaval in order to find relationship growth.

What’s the best way to find out more about this, or to schedule a consultation?

We have an amazing team at LIIST. Thanks to conferences and other growth opportunities, our therapists are some of the best and brightest on the block. If you think we might be able to help you or your relationship, feel free to reach out to us. Our phone number is 516-690-6779, (you can even text us there!) and you can email us at Info@LISexTherapy.com. If you’re curious about who the 7 of us are, you can learn more at www.SexTherapyLongIsland.com/Our-Team

LIIST Logo
LIIST Logo