Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST)

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Therapy by Phone or Video Chat [Can Suck]. Here’s How to Make It Better.

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LIIST has been providing video therapy for years. We do still think in-person sessions are best because we believe we can better attune with our clients. This pandemic has encouraged all of our sessions to move to video. So far, we are very happy with the results.

person holding MacBook in car with black interior
person holding MacBook in car with black interior

Our greatest concern for the feasibility of online sessions was with regard to couples. In our sessions with couples, we have figured out some great workarounds. One of our favorite new techniques is to have each partner participate from separate devices in separate parts of a home. Interestingly, we are finding that couples are doing a better job of turn-taking in conversations during these video therapy sessions!

This article in Vice by Caitlin Flynn outlines more ideas for continuing to ensure you’re getting the most out of your video therapy sessions.

Looking for some support?

If you would like some support for your relationship, or your sex life, feel free to reach out to us. LIIST has an outstanding team of therapists. We specialize in helping individuals, couples and relationships navigate difficult times.

How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Go to Couples Therapy

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Dr. Torrisi is quoted in this Vice article with some great advice about bringing up this important conversation and what to do if you partner is resistant.

Shame and Guilt

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I was recently forwarded an article about guilt and its connection to mood disorders.

What this article seems to miss is the more important issue of shame. Guilt and shame are somewhat different but what’s important about shame is that it moves from the act to the person. Shame becomes internalized as a reflection of one’s whole self.

Excessive shame or shame in key areas of identity (such as sexuality or bodily functions) degrades one’s concept of self. This degradation is a perfect incubator for both mood disorders and personality disorders. If someone lacks a strong sense of self, they don’t believe in their ability to succeed– whether in the boardroom or the bedroom.

A degradation of a sexual sense of self through internalized shame is something many experience, especially women and LGBT individuals. This internalized sexual and bodily shame is at the core of many sexual difficulties. Sexuality disorders such as difficulties reaching orgasm and even sexual pain disorders are common results of internalized shame.

Along with mood disorders and sexuality related disorders, researchers have also found links between internalized shame and physical health. Racism has has been found to lead to poor cardiac health. Internalized homophobia can result in higher rates of cancer.

What we experience as “just” psychological can have cascading emotional and physical affects.

Q&A at Jericho High School

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Rosara Torrisi, 2015 Best Sex Therapist on Long Island, was recently invited and presented to a group of high school students in Jericho for the second year in a row. All of the students were eager to ask sexologist, Rosara Torrisi about her work as a therapist, her work as a sex therapist, and some education about healthy sexuality. Here are some of the questions and answers. Continue reading

Women Get Women Off Better

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Women in general are more likely to experience orgasm when “sex” includes kissing, non-genital touching, receiving oral sex, genital-manual stimulation, and use of sex toys– all behaviors more engaged in by women having sex with women.

I Am Not Trapped In My Body

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“I am not trapped in my body, I am trapped in other people’s perceptions of my body.” This is an oustabding video of a slam poet describing her experiences of the gender binary that holds us all down. #LetsTalkAboutIt

Gay Couples Lead Marriage in to the 21st Century

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What if the critics are correct…What if same-sex marriage does change marriage, but primarily for the better?

By providing a new model of how two people can live together equitably, same-sex marriage could help haul matrimony more fully into the 21st century. Although marriage is in many ways fairer and more pleasurable for both men and women than it once was, it hasn’t entirely thrown off old notions and habits. As a result, many men and women enter into it burdened with assumptions and stereotypes that create stress and resentment. Others, confronted with these increasingly anachronistic expectations—expectations at odds with the economic and practical realities of their own lives—don’t enter into it at all.

Read more in the Atlantic article.