Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST)

parenting

Therapy by Phone or Video Chat [Can Suck]. Here’s How to Make It Better.

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LIIST has been providing video therapy for years. We do still think in-person sessions are best because we believe we can better attune with our clients. This pandemic has encouraged all of our sessions to move to video. So far, we are very happy with the results.

person holding MacBook in car with black interior
person holding MacBook in car with black interior

Our greatest concern for the feasibility of online sessions was with regard to couples. In our sessions with couples, we have figured out some great workarounds. One of our favorite new techniques is to have each partner participate from separate devices in separate parts of a home. Interestingly, we are finding that couples are doing a better job of turn-taking in conversations during these video therapy sessions!

This article in Vice by Caitlin Flynn outlines more ideas for continuing to ensure you’re getting the most out of your video therapy sessions.

Looking for some support?

If you would like some support for your relationship, or your sex life, feel free to reach out to us. LIIST has an outstanding team of therapists. We specialize in helping individuals, couples and relationships navigate difficult times.

How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Go to Couples Therapy

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Dr. Torrisi is quoted in this Vice article with some great advice about bringing up this important conversation and what to do if you partner is resistant.

This is the home that love built

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I rarely post something religious, but I found this meditation to resonate with my practice as a therapist for couples, relationships and individuals. What are your thoughts? How does love fortify your home? How is your home a refuge for you and your family? What joys and sorrys and mundane tasks has your home held you through? Sundays aren’t the only Sabbath days, how do you make time to care for yourself in whatever way is needed by you?

The Home That Love Made
Amanda Poppei

This is the home that love made.

It is full of the love that the founders felt, when they planned out these walls and raised these beams above us.

This is the home that love made.

It is full of the love of all who have worshipped here; those who have celebrated and grieved here; the babies dedicated, couples married, and family members mourned here.

This is the home that love made.

It is full of the love of our children, as they learn and laugh together, and our youth, as they grow into their own sense of purpose and meaning.

This is the home that love made.

It is full of the love of the staff who have served it, full of their hopes for this congregation, their hard work and their acts of dedication.

This is the home that love made.

It is full of the love of the choir, the love made so clear in the voices lifted here on Sunday morning.

This is the home that love made.

It is full of our love, the love of this community, despite our differences and our disagreements, the love that holds us together as a people.

This is the home that love made. Can you feel it?

May the love be with us always.

View this entry on UUA.org

21st Century Rewards

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Parents often ask me about helping their teen become a responsible adult. I almost always explain that, just like children, adults are always seeking rewards.

As adults, however, we take our reward granting to ourselves as a given. If I am having trouble getting out the door for my daily walk, I can reward myself with a coffee at the Starbucks en route. If a teen is having difficulty loading the dishwasher on time, it’s often difficult for parents to consider rewards for completing the desired task but somehow easier to think of a punishment for not doing so.

I often hear that this isn’t something a child should be rewarded for and that it’s just expected as a contribution to the family. I call BS on this– wouldn’t you be infinitely more likely to scrub the toilet if you knew a reward was on the other end for you?

It’s important to remember in this consumerist age, though, that rewards DO NOT have to be purchased. Sometimes a simple, genuine, “thank you” is a reward in and of itself. Sometimes leeway given in one aspect can make up for doing a chore. With all the electronic stimulation we seek so desperately, extra “screen time” can invigorate someone to do something, even if begrudgingly.

Throughout it all, remember that as a parent you are raising children to be responsible and happy members of society– which includes finishing tasks and reaping the benefits (like WiFi). 

What to do when your kids walk in on you

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From the wonderful Logan levkoff:

“What happens if my kids walk in on us having sex?” And it’s not just something that I see in my practice; 17 percent of moms inSheKnows’ “Secret Life of Moms” survey have admitted to being interrupted while in the throes of passion. So while that may seem mortifying, the likelihood is that it can (and just may) happen at some point in your life. So prepare accordingly.

#1 Don’t panic. You really don’t know what they saw (or heard). (Yes, I’ve been walked in on. My kid didn’t bat an eyelash; she just wanted breakfast.)

Read more…

Harmful Messages

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This ad does a great job of easily displaying the dichotomy of societal views of men and women in the workplace, the double-standards which we all have to contend with, but it misses the important note that the messages men receive are just as harmful. Either way, take a look. If you’re having difficulty balancing your roles in the office, with your family and with your friends, reach out for support and call Rosara Torrisi at 516-690-6770 to schedule an appointment today.

Gay Couples Lead Marriage in to the 21st Century

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What if the critics are correct…What if same-sex marriage does change marriage, but primarily for the better?

By providing a new model of how two people can live together equitably, same-sex marriage could help haul matrimony more fully into the 21st century. Although marriage is in many ways fairer and more pleasurable for both men and women than it once was, it hasn’t entirely thrown off old notions and habits. As a result, many men and women enter into it burdened with assumptions and stereotypes that create stress and resentment. Others, confronted with these increasingly anachronistic expectations—expectations at odds with the economic and practical realities of their own lives—don’t enter into it at all.

Read more in the Atlantic article. 

New Parents

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You tirelessly plan for everything within your power to keep your child safe and happy. You spend countless hours thinking over how to raise your child in an uncertain world. You take days to shop around and research the best crib, stroller, diapers, pediatrician, day care, and kindergarten teacher. Have you thought about how important your relationship is to the happiness and well-being of your child? Whether this is your first child or the youngest of many, come join us for a workshop on how to enhance your relationship to withstand the strains of parenting and enjoy the wealth of your family for a lifetime together.

Sunday, April 14th, from 2-4pm at the Plainview Holiday Inn. $30 per person. Call 516-690-6779 or e-mail RosaraTorrisiLMSW@gmail.com to RESERVE YOUR SPOT TODAY!