Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST)

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About Dr. Torrisi

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Rosara_013Dr. Rosara Torrisi, LCSWR, MEd, CST, PhD

You can feel confident knowing you’re working with an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Torrisi has experience discussing diverse sexuality topics including aging, pregnancy, male & female sexual dysfunction, cancer, autism and relationships, and sexual minority relationships.

Dr. Torrisi is a licensed clinical social worker with a specialization in Sex Therapy. Dr. Torrisi has considerable experience in sexual dysfunctions, low desire, erectile difficulties, orgasmic dysfunctions, depression, anxiety, divorce, pre-marital assessments, sexual orientation issues, gender identity issues, sexual minority individuals and families, adoption and foster care, trauma, chronic illness, life transitions, and the effects of these on individuals and families of all types.  Dr. Torrisi works with individuals, couples, relationships, and families. Dr. Torrisi has received Our Whole Lives comprehensive sexuality education training from the Unitarian Universalist Association for youth, young adults, and adults. She has also achieved Level 1 of the Gottman Couples Therapy Method.

Dr. Torrisi is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She graduated from Columbia University with a Master of Science in Social Work and earned a Master of Education in Human Sexuality from Widener University where she also earned her PhD in Human Sexuality. She is an Adjunct Professor at Widener University and guest lecturer around the county, teaching courses about sexuality, sex therapy, and disabilities.

Dr. Torrisi is a member in good standing of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS), the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR), and the National Association of Social Workers (NASW). Dr. Torrisi is both a member and presenter on behalf of the Sexuality and Aging Consortium. Dr. Torrisi is recognized as a welcoming and kink-aware therapist by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) and is also a recommended therapist by the Long Island LGBT Network.

Gender pronouns and titles: She/Her/Hers, Ms., Dr.

 

¡Hola, Wildilisa!

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Wildilisa Silverman

Wildilisa Silverman, LMFT

Wildilisa Silverman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who received her MFT from Hofstra University. She is passionate about helping others live the life they deserve. Her practice focuses on the various needs of her clients–through individual, couples, relationship and family therapy.

Wildilisa’s clinical work is solution-focused in nature, but her style encompasses a more eclectic approach, with a concentration on sexuality-related issues. You will learn to effectively implement coping skills that you will be able to apply across all areas of your life. Wildilisa is particularly interested in supporting clients through issues with work, marriage, social relationships, and raising children.

She is also a native Spanish-speaker and has experience working with unique cultural backgrounds. She is in the process of getting her Level 1 training of the Gottman Couples Therapy Method, which can help couples learn how to manage conflict and rekindle fondness and admiration.

Wildilisa is a member in good standing of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).

Gender pronouns and titles: She/Her/Hers, Mrs.

Wildilisa is currently in the office on Fridays from 11 am to 7 pm.

Para clientes que hablan español, llame a Wildilisa directamente al 631-552-5686.

Book Review: The Ultimate Guide to Bondage by Mistress Couple

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book cover for the ultimate guide to bondageReview of The Ultimate Guide to Bondage: Creating Intimacy Through the Art of Restraint. By Mistress Couple, Jersey City, NJ, Cleis Press, 2018. 294 pp. $ 16.95 (softcover). ISBN: 978-1-62778-274-6

Dr. Rosara Torrisi, LCSW, MEd, CST, PhD

The Ultimate Guide to Bondage is exquisitely written, from nose to tail. With Mistress Couple’s writing style, it is easy to be right there with her. This book is encompassing of all the information necessary to become a rising bondage practitioner. If you find yourself struggling against Mistress Couple’s instruction throughout this book, consider what this might say about your own relationship to dominance and submission. It is not feasible, however, for 294 pages to make up for real-world experiences. As a sex therapist and educator, I recommend that you make note of where you have questions, meet up with respected bondage experts in your area, and learn more.

The introduction follows Mistress Couple’s journey to bondage and is the beginning of a thoughtful examination. This primer underscores the quality of her training and expertise as a Mistress. She is honest, cautious with her reader, and tenderly nudges as she engages the reader on this journey. Her expert advice is evident, as she effortlessly speaks to the novice and the professional alike.

As a researcher and professor, I appreciate that Mistress Couple gives credit where it is due. The historical contexts are part of the cultural sensitivity needed when appropriating techniques. It is an act of privilege to disregard the historical implications of what one might be using for play. Although my academic background would have done this differently, I do appreciate that Mistress Couple’s footnotes link to sources that are not in scientific journals. This means the resources are more readily available to any reader.

Mistress Couple utilizes recognizable educational pathways to instruct her readers. There is a well-rounded definition of terms used throughout the book. These definitions allow everyone to understand her vocabulary the way she intends to use the words. She also uses accessible examples for complex ideas. The flow chart provides a structure for readers to absorb how bondage techniques crystalize or bifurcate. The number/color system of pain/pleasure considers multiple dimensions to quickly convey receptivity. The overview of the most common materials used in bondage is outstanding. There are also valuable pictures, drawings, and first-person-account essays. She also provides a quick overview of prevailing ideas within the mental health community about the origins of fetishes.

I agree with Mistress Couple’s connections of bondage to birth, trauma, consent, intimacy, and finding the authentic self. The Ultimate Guide to Bondage persistently reminds the reader to enact emotional and physical safety measures. More than sexual tension is released through sexual connection, so trauma-informed bondage is crucial. The conversation about how to receive and give consent is refreshing and woven throughout the book. It would be wonderful for everyone to understand consent so well, regardless of involvement in BDSM. I find Mistress Couple’s assessment of restraint as a method of returning to the universal experience of being in a womb, and the release of traumas such as birth, to be quite interesting. Developmental, trauma and attachment therapists will recognize their theories echoed in these pages.71MQJ8rUA9L

The Ultimate Guide to Bondage is comprehensive for those personally and professionally interested in bondage. There are some areas of BDSM in general that are not discussed in this book. For example, further exploration is needed for anyone interested in learning more about anatomy and physiology, role play, specific fetishes, penetrative play, impact play, and non-monogamy. This book could easily be used in an academic course, along with scientific journal articles and supporting primary documents.

‘Sex Education’ on Netflix

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Dr. T mostly liked the new Netflix series. It does miss the mark in a few ways, mostly because it’s made for entertainment. One of the areas but discussed in this article is the lack of racial and ethnic representation. Read more about her thoughts in this article by SELF magazine.

Main phone line down

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The main phone line is down at LIIST and will be back on shortly, though may take until Tuesday afternoon. You can contact your therapist directly or email us at info@lisextherapy.com We apologize for the inconvenience. Thank you for being patient.

Parents Have Sex, Too

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Parents having a healthy relationship with their sexuality is an important message to kids of all ages. Boundaries are appropriate, but a kiss, hug, cuddle and the knowledge that parents have sex helps kids develop their own healthy relationship with sexuality.

I definitely advocate getting mom (or partner who is a mom) something sexual and sensual for any holiday!
The tricky part for sex toys is that they’re usually not returnable. We never know what happens to plenty of presents we get people, so that’s not too big of a deal. Maybe mom uses it once. Maybe she regifts it to a friend. Either way, you got her thinking that you care about her as a sexual person, which is likely something she hasn’t felt in association with being a mom.
Some of my suggested toys?
The tried and true: the magic wand, preferably battery operated.
The mom who might be missing some penetration: the stronic pulsator
The mom who might appreciate something like oral: the womanizer
Always add some lube!

(None of these are affiliate links).

Other ideas are sensual. Massage, cooking classes, candles, bubble bath, luxurious lotion, mani/pedi, spa treatments, a Spotify subscription or a new album, new sheets, a house cleaner, a beautiful plant or a great smelling bouquet, a big bath towel or a robe, some time by the water (pool, lake, ocean, etc).
For a mom who likes some excitement to get her fire burning, try something thrilling! Go kart racing, a ride along in a sports car, bungee jumping, a ride along in a small plane or helicopter, skydiving.
And to use any or all of this… Especially for young moms… Some extra free time!
As a sex therapist, I don’t think there’s anything taboo about sex. Buying a vibrator is just as reasonable as gifting someone a box of chocolates.
Perhaps a sex toy gift could kickstart a conversation about sexuality, sexual development, stories from when mom was your age, etc. Many people are often left wandering through sexuality without parental guidance. Many forget that parents and grandparents have lifetimes of knowledge and experience that could be useful to younger generations– they were once the new, cool kids who were radicals and listened to weird music!