Check out this article reviewed by our therapist John Mutziger for some tips on how to create and nurture new friendships.

The post Are you having a hard time making new friends? appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

LIIST is interviewing therapists who wish to specialize in working with clients coping with sexual issues (sexual orientation, gender identity, pelvic pain, alternative sexuality, erectile dysfunction, orgasmic difficulties, sexual compulsions, mismatched desire levels in couples, etc).

Previous sex therapy training is preferred but not required.

Previous couples and/or family work is also preferred.

Experience or interest in working with OCSB is a plus.

Opportunities for community education and group work are available.

The position is in Syosset, NY, on Long Island. The office is on the first floor of a building with ramp access but no automatic door. Starting in January or February would be ideal. Days and hours are flexible.

Weekly individual supervision and biweekly group supervision will be provided. Ongoing training and continuing education are often attended as a group.

Interested? Please email resumes to RosaraTorrisi@LISexTherapy.com.

The post We’re hiring at LIIST! Come join us! appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

Dr. Torrisi contributed her expertise to 7 Benefits of Orgasms Including Improved Mood and Pain Relief, published on Health.com. Dr. Logan Levkoff, a certified sexuality education and advisor, chimes in on the effect of orgasm on mood, while Dr. Sonia Bahlani, a pelvic pain specialist, shares her experience on the link between orgasm and pelvic floor health.

Give it a read!

The post How orgasms can affect your life outside the bedroom appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

The post Breakin’ up is hard to do… appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

1. Eat a healthy breakfast.
   Your usual weekday routine might be grabbing a donut and coffee on the run, but you’ve got time today.
2. Disconnect from electronics.
   If you absolutely have to check your messages during the day, set one or two specific times to check your email and stick to them. If you need to keep your phone nearby due to family or friends, go into your settings and disable your social media accounts for the day.
3. Listen to music.
   Play what you love, whether it’s classical or country. Sing along.
4. Pamper yourself.
   If you’re in a position to go out, try a massage or a manicure. If you’d rather stay home, take a long bath.
5. Exercise.
   If you’re usually on your feet all day, you can try a light workout, such as stretching or yoga. If you work at a desk or another stationary job, take a walk.
6. Take a nap.
   Short naps are a great way to top up on sleep. Stick to 20-30 minutes; any longer may interfere with your normal sleep schedule.
7. Be creative.
   If you want to take up a hobby like painting or knitting, you may be able to find a club that offers classes and workspace. If you’d rather do it on your own, you can find supplies from a craft store and instructional videos on YouTube. If you like cooking, you could also try a new recipe.
8. Read a book.
   Read a book or magazine. You can also listen to an audiobook if you’re tired of reading.
9. Watch a movie.
   Find that movie you’ve been meaning to see or a few episodes of your favorite TV show.
10. Prepare for the next day.
    Lay out clothes, pack your lunch, and do anything else necessary to make sure you won’t be rushed in the morning.

At the end of the day, you should feel recharged and refreshed. If you feel the need to take a step back from your stresses, don’t hesitate. A mental health day can help you be your best self.

The post 10 things to do during a mental health day appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

The post Dr. Torrisi has been nominated for Best Sex Therapist in Long Island! appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

Here are some good pieces by LGBT writers on their experiences coming out and living as gay or trans.

Coming Out Is a Life-long Process, by Kathi Wolfe

Being gay in some parts of the world – and in some parts of your life – might be hard, but it can also be joyful.

Coming out as LGBTQIA+: A Personal Essay on Queer Invisibility by Shannon Collins

The author discusses how difficult it can be to secure in your identity.

Being Isabel by Isaac Amend

For some transgender people, memories of living as the wrong gender are painful; other people miss parts of those lives. Isaac Amend, a transman, reflects on this seeming paradox.

My Journey to Pride by Charles M. Blow.

Coming out as an older Black man, the author describes seeking support in a quieter older community rather than Pride parades.

I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This, but You Are Bi Enough by Zachary Zane

Your identity as bisexual isn’t invalidated if you’re in a relationship with a straight person.

The Taboo on Being Gay and Old by Peter Field

The gay community can have a stigma against aging, but the author pushes back on the assumption that you can’t have a fulfilling life as an older gay man.

If you want to support a newly-out person in your life, learning as much as you can is a great step towards being a straight ally. If you’re LGBT+, any or all of these pieces may offer you some insight and wisdom on your journey.

The post Here are some good reading recommendations for National Coming Out Day appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

However, stonewalling is detrimental as a long-term strategy, since it prevents communication and problem-solving. Check out some tips here in order to prevent stonewalling from damaging your relationship.

The post How to keep stonewalling from damaging your relationship. appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

Physical causes

Hormones are the first thing that come to mind when considering a change in libido. The three main hormones that control libido are testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone. The hormonal changes that occur during menopause and after a hysterectomy often can decrease sex drive. Lowered libido is also a common side effect of hormonal birth control.

Some health conditions affect it as well, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and depression or mood disorders. Your doctor may be able to help.

Past experience

Both physical and emotional trauma can send your sex drive into a nosedive. It doesn’t have to be a recent event; memories of past abuse can be triggered years after they’ve occurred. Speaking to a psychologist or sex therapist can help. If your partner is having trouble understanding or wants to know how they can help, consider having them accompany you to a session.

You don’t need to have had a traumatic experience in order to view sex negatively; maybe you’ve just never had a good experience. Some studies estimate that up to 75% of women do not achieve orgasm by intercourse alone, but it’s still viewed by many as the “right” way to have sex. Feeling pressured to perform can lead to feelings of failure, which then erodes self-confidence and desire. If this sounds like you, take some time for yourself and do some self-exploration. Order a toy from someplace like That Drawer and see what works for you and what doesn’t.

Life happens

Sometimes life just gets in the way. Whether it’s raising a growing family, having a stressful project at work, or taking care of an aging or ill relative, the odds are that you’ll encounter at least one of these situations as you grow older. If you’re in a relationship, be sure to communicate with your partner; maybe they can help shoulder some responsibilities. Try to carve out some time to spend together, if you can. Most importantly, focus on the fact that with work and time, it’s possible to regain intimacy with your partner.

The post Are you experiencing a lowered sex drive? Here are some reasons why. appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).

Check out psychoanalyst Jordan Dann’s article Does Your Relationship Have a Culture of Appreciation? Why It’s So Important to read more.

The post How a culture of appreciation can improve your relationship appeared first on Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy (LIIST).